4.12.2014

Sara-isms

Hands down, I have the best mother in law ever.  Sometimes she says things that are not quite true (sometimes they are not even remotely true), and Dick calls them "Sara-isms."  Here's a list of things I've learned from Sara- some are pearls of wisdom and some are most definitely Sara-isms.  I'll let you decide which is which.

1. Always laugh at your husband's jokes.  It makes them feel good about themselves.

2. When babies are gassy, press their legs upward & rub their bellies.

3. Laundry baskets are the quintessential packing method for camping trips, car rides, beach days, and even....laundry.  They also work as play pens in a pinch.

4. It only takes one consecutive day of McDonald's ice cream with Gram-gram to establish an addiction and tradition so deeply ingrained that your grandchildren will SOB if you promise them their mom will get them ice cream this time, and then McDonalds' stupid ice cream machine is broken.

5. It is preferable, in all occasions, to dress your children alike.  Unless you have two boys and one girl- then you go with a theme. 
Eh, screw that. Just dress them alike anyway. Katie will get over it.

Well...she might not get over this atrocity:

But look how cute it works for groups of the same gender:
6. Children are best bathed in sinks.
One at a time,
Two at a time,
Or even in the spaghetti pot

7. EVERY baby is the most exciting- no matter how many grandkids you have.

8. Love your in-laws

9. Love your momma

10. If they don't sell it at Costco, you don't need it.

11. The definition of winning is to mop the floor with a foot rag while you're cleaning the dishes.  Even her granddaughter has picked up on this habit.

12. Don't fret over perfect pictures. Keep it real.

13. Sometimes suggest and embark on the most ridiculously insane adventures- like taking 8 kids to the zoo. On MAX. 

Or five to the beach, a 2 hour ride each way, in a single day, and stop at no less than 4 fast food joints/grocery stores on the way home to get everyone their favorite food.

14. Sunscreen. Always.

15. If you have a sort of gangly foot thing, don't let it stop you from climbing/crawling, dancing or running. 

16. If you're going to laugh at people, do it silently so they don't know they're being laughed at.
Photo: Silent laughing with my daughter while holding her daughter; wonderful morning!

17.  Hold tight to the ones you love.

I love you Sara- Happy HAPPY Birthday!
PS- this is Sara's passport picture, and Dick's very favorite picture of his wife.  Isn't that sweet? 

4.09.2014

An Editorial, by Guest Blogger Navy


You look funny sideways.


Ahee-hee, that's more like it!


I crack myself up.  I get that from my mom.


Sooo....time for some updates.


Found out I can chew on my hand!


Working towards getting them both in there at the same time.


Found out I have a neck! I was like, "This scrawny thing's supposed to hold up my big head!?? Um, hellooo design flaw!"


I rolled up my sleeve one day & noticed I have a crazy birthmark that looks like a bad tatt.


But then I got distracted by all these stripes.  Do they make me look wide?


I met an invisible friend one day, just hanging out in the chair. She tells me the most shocking things.


I'm always like, "Whaaaat!?!?" I don't think I can trust her.


I'll tell ya who I can trust. THIS guy.


well....usually.


Sometimes I try to tell my mom with my eyes, "THIS GUY'S NOT STABLE."


And then she ignores me until I cry.


And then she holds me again & I can rest easy- PHEW.

3.30.2014

March in Review

We went to the park to wear the kids out (that is the ONLY reason we ever go to the park).  I devised a super crafty plan in which I would dole out stale 4-month old crackers one by one so that the kids had to run up & down the dock to feed the ducks.  Brilliant, I thought.  It worked 3 times before Baylor decided HE wanted to sit in one spot and eat the duck food. Joke's on me.  But then I didn't really have to cook them dinner since they were stuffed to the brim with expired carbs.  So joke's back on them.



We've been doing a lot of yardwork (not that you would notice) lately & the kids love being outside (until they get dirty, wet, or hungry- whichever comes first).  Here's a pic I took from inside of Luke taking a pic of Baylor.  They are such a cute pair.


Our neighbor brought us a pie.  Which Baylor's spoon skillfully detected.


Someone went to kindergarten round up, and someone only cried once and successfully hid her tears from the other parents who obviously have no soul because they didn't seem to be weeping at the thought of sending their teeny tiny child off to school.




3.29.2014

The Difference Between Potty Training Girls & Boys

Baylor Blitz is working on potty training, and proving to be much easier to train than his big sis.

The primary challenges have been:
1) Vocabulary: girls wear "panties" and boys wear "undies"
2) Luke. Who on his first attempt at assisting Baylor was found awkwardly holding him superman style about 3 feet above the toilet with Bay's privates aimed in the general direction of the toilet.  Baylor and Luke both looked uncomfortable and unsure.  I quickly explained to Luke that little boys typically begin their training in the SEATED position. Fine that this hadn't occurred to Luke, but odd that his first instinct was to suspend Baylor perpendicular to the floor.  Men.
3) Mechanics.  While this may be old news for men and mothers of boys, I have discovered firsthand that boy parts must be intentionally aimed downward toward the toilet bowl.  The alternative involves bleaching your bathroom floor.
4) Anatomy.  Baylor knows he has a penis, which is good.  Baylor thinks I have one too, which is not good.  After a quick run down on anatomy he is now aware that girls have "ginos" as he calls them.

One thing that has not been a challenge:
1) Confidence.  Baylor, like the rest of the male population, is quite impressed with his urinary capabilities and equipment.  He can often be found mid-stream exclaiming things like, "OH! Look at my big daddy silverback penis!"  For all the restorative confidence gained in a single potty trip it is shocking men don't go to the bathroom more often.

Here's Bay rocking it freestyle and working on his "costruction."



3.28.2014

one, two, three!

Flashes always shock and surprise Navy:

One Month:

Two Months:

Three Months:

Here's Navy's TWO MONTH pic, a little late:


Here's Navy's THREE MONTH pic, wearing a naval-inspired outfit courtesy of Aunt Laurie.  This will be the first of MANY sailor-esque photo shoots I am sure.